Ah, folks, it’s that time of year again. Everyone in the entire Instagram universe, to the exclusion of me, is making the journey across the pond for the second most snap-worthy event on the calendar (after Coachella, duh). It’s called European Summer 2018, and it’s no doubt being broadcasted on a ‘gram feed near you.
While I weigh up the pros and cons of wearing bed socks to work (pros: delightfully toasty, closest thing to wearing a doona on your feet there is, cons: sneakers won’t fit, would no doubt solidify my status as social pariah), these Euro-trippers are smugly chipping away at my sanity one Aperol spritz, puffed sleeve, and cobbled backstreet snap at a time.
Most years I obligingly lap up the sun-drenched content for about four days, before resolving to set fire to my phone until the start of August so I can continue to live out my winter life in peace. Once the end of Euro summer rolls around, I make empty promises to myself to book flights for the following year, so that I may too become the person who uploads excessive amounts of pizza and sunset pictures, jazzed up with *witty* captions and a dusting of #suitable #hashtags.
This year, I’ve decided to channel my angsty FOMO into something more productive. I’ve compiled a list of everything I would be packing in my suitcase were I about to head off for Europe’s glistening shores. Pretty selfless, right? For everyone who was smart enough to book flights this year, pls send me a pic of you slurping on an aperitif so that I may live my best lyfe through you. For everyone who isn’t, see you there in 2019 (and let’s get a head start on our summer lewks for the end of 2018, shall we?)…
Bikinis To Slurp Back An Aperol Spritz In
It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to physically make it through Italy or the South of France without drinking at least 3+ Aperol spritzes per day, and that activity, dear friends, calls for at LEAST two cute bikinis in your suitcase.
I don’t ~do~ bucket lists, but if I were to start now, owning this Hunza G bikini would be at the top of it (let’s be real, this one of theirs, too). I can also definitely see myself on a cobbled beach wearing this Zimmermann polka dot off-the-shoulder number, this cute Ganni triangle bikini (with a matching scrunchie!!!!!!), or these actual to-die-for She Made Me bloomers. If you’re in the market for a bikini that double as a top, this Peixoto smocked bikini top should do the trick!
If you don’t want to spend all your holiday money before you’ve even left the country (as is my M.O.), then Glassons have got you covered on the cheap bikini front. Lean into this season’s high-cut trend with these Simple Rib Bikini Briefs which pair nicely with this Scoop Bikini Top, and while we’re on the topic of high-cut bottoms, these Fella briefs are probably the most flattering thing I’ve introduced my butt to, ever. If you’re after a simple black triangle bikini, this L’URV one has got your back!
Dresses For People Watching With A Latte In Hand
There’s really no greater time/place to jump on the milk maid gravy train than in Europe during summer, which is ideal since I would happily wear this Rejina Pyo puff-sleeve dress every single day for the rest of my liiiife. I’m assuming you’re in the same boat, which means that the cost-per-wear on this puppy almost qualifies it as a ‘SAVE’ purchase (especially considering it’s currently 50% off!). This pink one of theirs in a similar style is probably more adorable than a puppy sleeping, so a really gr8 option if you want to be the cutest girl in Europe.
When it comes to dresses that are as affordable as they are stylish, no one does it better than Reformation (see here, here and here for proof!). Pixie Market also has a couple of cute options (my fingers added this dress to my shopping part faster than my brain could scream, “BUT YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO EUROPE???”). Would maybe marry this dress if it were legal (or at the least, get married IN IT). And I’m also not mad at this Zara dress, just for the record.
Sophisticated One-Pieces For Reading Sophisticated Novels In
If my shopping baskets at the moment say anything about me, it’s that I have watched Baywatch and I have taken notes—see this Matteau red one-piece, or this Hunza G one-piece (also red), for proof. This lime green Ack one-piece is the swimsuit equivalent of eating a Splice ice cream, and this Onia gingham one-piece with a built-in belt couldn’t be any more sophisticated if it tried.
Guys, you’ll have to excuse me for a second, it appears my FOMO has gotten the better of me. I really must go lie down for a second…
*Breathes deeply into a paper bag on the office couch*
Okay, back! Where were we? Oh, yes! Affordable one-piece swimsuits…
Easy, Breezy Dresses For A Day Spent Sightseeing
“But we’ve already covered dresses”, I hear you protest, to which I say, “First of all, you can really never have too many dresses, and secondly, sightseeing really calls for something a bit breezier than the aforementioned dresses.” As such, you absolutely cannot head to Europe without packing this Realisation Par dress in your bag (or this one, I can’t decide), closely followed by this Reformation dress.
ACCESSORISE WITH: It’s crucial you set off for a day of sightseeing in the freshest white sneakers you can find, frilly socks and a cute (but cost-effective) scrunchie! Oh, and these affordable Kenneth Jay Lane gold hoops while you’re at it.
Beach-To-Bar Sarongs And Basket Bags
Remember that matching bikini and scrunchie from Ganni that I mentioned earlier? Turns out there’s A SARONG IN THE SAME PRINT, TOO!!!! I’m pretty tempted to book a flight to Europe based solely off that fact alone. Aaaaand a quick glance at my bank account confirms that is not financially tenable, but I guess I could muster up enough dollars to buy this Paradised Tasseled sarong as a consolation prize instead. Or maybe this Ganni leopard print sarong. What do you think?
SAVE:This H&M black sarong is kind of perfecto and it’s only seven dollarydoos!
ACCESSORISE WITH: Basket bags, friends! This Cult Gaia bag will hold a place in my heart forever! This Sensi Tote would also be accompanying me all over Europe if I were actually going (can you tell I’m bitter?).
Blouses For Enjoying The Heck Out Of A Bowl Of Spaghetti In
Okay, so your bag should be 90% ready to go by now! In the spirit of saving the best for last, let’s round out this shopping edit with the perfect outfit for treatin’ yo self to a pasta and wine feast. A room-y blouse is crucial for slurping up that spaghetti, and why not start with this SEA blouse since it’s black and therefore perfect for spillage. If you’re not overly risk-averse, this Rixo London polka dot top is the cutest, and if you’re completely confident in your ability to sip on red wine without accidentally pouring it on yourself, then I suggest you invest in this white lace-up Chosen linen blouse (if your drink does manage to escape from the glass, we’ve got you covered on the stain removal front here).
ACCESSORISE WITH: Style your cute new Victorian-era blouse with the only jeans you’ll ever want to wear again and these Ancient Greek sandals (which will go with *literally* everything in your wardrobe).