Low-Maintenance Blonde For The Lazy Gal

Semi-blondes have the most fun.

“Don’t live beyond your means” is a phrase my parents love to recycle. For most of my teens and early 20s, this was a phrase that I loved to ignore. There was no greater tangible evidence of this than the hair that sat atop my head, which I routinely dyed for over a decade (scalp bleach, foils, packet dye—you name it, I dabbled in it). Hoodwinking people into thinking you are a natural-born blonde is not a cheap venture—ask my lack of savings over this time period, should you require proof.

My quest to disguise a mousey-ish hair colour that I now kinda love also wreaked havoc on the quality of my mane. At worst, I was pulling clumps of hair out in the shower, and at best, my hair was as dry as your glass of TGIF Chardonnay. Split ends were a common fixture in my life during this period, and regrowth was almost always there to remind people that I was a fraud (despite the thousands of dollars that I spent on upkeep). 

As with most things, my approach to dying hair was all-or-nothing. When I decided to hang up my fake blonde boots, I grew as much colour out as I could stomach (leaning hard into the ~grunge~ aesthetic as I went), then chopped my hair into a short bob to bid adieu to the rest. As they say, change is as good as a holiday, so I was initially delighted with my new ‘do.

It didn’t take long for that joy to metamorphosis into B-O-R-E-D-O-M, though. What did this born-again-hair-colour-virgin want? A splash of colour! When did I want it? Now! And that’s where angel human/freelance hair artist & master colourist Georgia Osborne comes in. My friend Elissa McGowan has been recommending her to me for as long as I can remember, and her hair, which always looks perfect whether blonde or brunette, was more than enough impetus to book myself in for a visit to Moody Hair to let Georgia’s expert hands cure me of my mousey hair woes.

My brief was this: I am very lazy and I don’t want to spend too much time or money on upkeep, I want it to look natural as possible, and I want my hair to be as healthy as possible! (It’s been two months since my visit, and my hair has grown out better than I could have hoped for—the regrowth seamlessly blends into my natural hair colour, and the texture has (for the most part) been akin to an Equipment silk shirt

So if you’re a fellow lazy gal looking for a low-maintenance blonde, see below for tips from the hair wiz herself… 

What Should I Ask The Hairdresser For?

I wasn’t 100% sure what to ask for when I went in, outside of the above brief and some images saved to my phone of iconic 90s blondes. I knew I didn’t want a scalp bleach nor that foil lewk, but my instructions outside of that were quite vague. Never mind that though, ’cause as all great hairdressers are, Georgia turned out to be an absolute mind reader. This is what she did (and what you should ask for at the hairdresser if you’re down for a lazy-girl blonde): 

“We started with placing some fine foils throughout your hair that are a couple of shades lighter than your natural colour, so when I followed with the freehand balayage it looks like it has a sun-kissed, natural feel, rather than a blocky un-natural feel. If done this way, re-touch bookings between 3-4 months is all that is needed.”

What Are The Best Products For Upkeep?

Georgia recommends using good quality salon-bought products for low-maintenance blonde. I am a long-standing fan of Kevin Murphy’s Angel Wash and the Angel Rinse (and will always recommend them to any of my fellow fake blonde friends), but Georgia also put me onto some miracle products by French brand La Biosthetique. For anyone going blonde, whether that be subtle blonde like current moi or peroxide blonde like former moi, I can’t recommend La Biosthetique Vital Protection Couleur Shampoo and Conditioner more highly. Also, if your scalp is dry from colouring (or just, you know, life), and is in need of some extra TLC, their hair lotion has done wonders for my scalp’s health. 

As Georgia explains, “they have been specifically designed for protection from colour and moisture-loss, and powerful active ingredients restore softness and lively, shiny colour to the hair.” My hair can attest to that. She also recommended alternating once a fortnight with the La Biosthetique Glam Colour in Crystal, a “toning moisture treatment that will keep unwanted brassy tones away to keep that fresh creamy blonde feeling.” Again, can confirm!

How Often Should I Wash My Hair?

While there’s always going to be hot debate around the frequency with which we should wash our hair, Georgia recommends her clients wash their hair every 3 days. 

For A Low-Maintenance Blonde, Should I Stick Close To My Natural Colour?

“Someone picking a low-maintenance blonde should have a mixture of lights and shadows, with the lighter pieces being focused around the face, throughout the ends and where the sun and fading would naturally add lightness,” Georgia recommends.

And What Other Hair Colour Trends Are ~Hot~ Right Now?

“I’m having a lot of clients asking for warmer, brighter colours, or completely opposite and going rich, shiny and dark.” 

If you should have any more questions about going low-maintenance blonde, pop them in the comments section below!

Words, Madeleine Woon | With thanks to Georgia Osborne at Moody Hair 

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